Lillian Lincoln Lambert

At our first stop in Boston, a detailed tour of my alma mater Harvard Business School, where I graduated forty years ago, I approached it with mixed feelings. Mixed because not only am I a graduate but I have been back to the campus a number of times. So why would I want a tour? What a mistake I would have made if I had passed this up!

Jim Aisner, Director of Media Relations gave us a detailed walking tour. He was full of information – size of the property, number of buildings, how the school started, how buildings were named and/or changed, what alterations occurred and why, the admission and selection process and many other topics. In addition we got to meet some students, first and second year. It was fascinating to compare notes on how the school is now and how it was when I attended. Just as if it was planned, in one of the buildings we ran into Jim Cash, a retired African American professor who was hired subsequent to my graduation. Again, just as on cue, as we were walking across the campus who appeared but Dean Jay Light. The group had lunch in the fabulous Sprangler Center, a wonder in itself. As I was leaving the dining hall I ran into a friend who graduated two years after I did. I was beginning to think that they were all expecting my visit. It felt great to be back on campus!

To top off the trip, before retiring for the day we went to the dormitory where I lived. What was once the Graduate Radcliff e Dormitory for women from various Harvard and Radcliffe schools now houses the Harvard College admission and financial aid office on the first floor but dormitory rooms are on the second and third floors. The cafeteria still exists on the first floor but set up quite different from the days I was there. It was a thrill to reminisce.

The Ronald McDonald gave us a warm welcome for the ribbon cutting ceremony. The CEO, Bill Sullivan, greeted the audience and emphasized the importance of giving hope to others. Our tour of the facilities gave us behind-the-scene exposure to the exceptional work of the House. They provide a temporary home to families from all over the world, who have traveled to the city primarily for pediatric cancer treatment available at city hospitals. Every effort is made to make the living environment feel as much like home as possible. Seeing children so sick made me think of how blessed I am with healthy children and grandchildren.

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” This quote was on the announcement board in front of the chapel at Children’s Village, Dobbs Ferry, NY. This was our second stop on the Hope tour where we were given an extensive walk around the grounds and saw many of their activities in action. This facility, on 300 acres with cottages, school, and offices nestled in a park-like setting surrounded by woods, serves as residence for 300 youngsters. The residents are referred to the Village from the courts, schools or social service agencies. No doubt none of the residents want to be there but it is a more supportive environment than the alternative – incarceration. Reaching the point where we no longer need even this type of facility would be ideal. However, living in an ideal world is asking a lot!

When I started my career after graduate school, I was married for four years before I had children. Fortunately, when my first child was born, I was working with a company that was very supportive of motherhood. I changed employers just before the birth of my second child and, luckily, was again blessed to have an employer who valued motherhood. When my children were two and four, I started my own business. I then had control of my own destiny, or did I?

As an entrepreneur, you are faced with the same decisions about balancing family and career that you face as an employee. One difference is you no longer have to get the concurrence of your employer when business matters conflict with family. At times, however, there will be conflicts between what’s best for the family and what’s best for the business. To keep things in balance, I adopted some key principles that helped me set priorities and stay focused. Some of these include:

*Accept the fact that you can’t have it all. Life is about making choices and setting priorities. Reflect on your values and clearly define what is important to you.

*Don’t be reluctant to ask for help. Many people are willing to help but may not offer for fear of feeling they are intruding or they may not know how they can help. Only you know what is helpful to you. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

*Learn to say no. Busy people are the ones who are usually asked to do things. Sometimes out of a sense of obligation, we commit to things we know we should not.

*Take time for you , in order to reenergize; if you are unhappy or in a bad mood, your family knows it.

*Make sure you take care of your health, not putting off those necessary exams or tests simply because you are too busy.

*Most important, don’t feel guilty about whatever decision you make about how you will combine family and Career. Outsiders don’t know the full story.

Enjoy your family and your career!

Whatever your feeling about President Obama or the government’s involvement or lack thereof in the final health care plan, it’s hard to understand why so many people are opposed to health care reform. As a senior, it saddens me to see so many older people who cannot receive the type of care they need. Just as unfortunate, are the many people, of all ages, who cannot afford the care they need. The status quo would be a mistake.

ARE YOU BEING HELD CAPTIVE?

As a reference point I will use this quote from Mark Caine:  The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you find yourself”.
Throughout your lives you will find yourselves in environments that you may or may not have chosen.  But the question becomes, How do you deal with it?  Do you fret and complain because of where you are or do you vow to not allow the environment to dictate your future?  Sometimes it is not possible to extricate yourself from your environment, i.e. where you have to live, until you become self sufficient, or the family into which you are born.
In most cases, however, you do have a level control  – the choice to remain or extricate yourself. Either you take control of your environment or your environment takes control of you. When you realize that where you are in your life is not where you want to be only you can take control of the situation and begin taking steps, even baby steps to move to where you want to go.

Early in my life I could have allowed my environment to dictate the direction of my future.  As a young girl who grew up on a small farm, college was not high on my agenda after high school. Instead I wanted a “good” job and did not think I needed a college education to get one.  After floundering in dead-end jobs for four years, I came to the realization that I needed a college education to have the kind of life I wanted.  It was only after I got serious about taking control of the direction of my future that positive things began to happen.  I started college at the age of
twenty-two instead of eighteen.  I accepted the fact that it is never too late to do something if you want to do it badly enough. Fortunately, I made this discovery at a young age.  No matter what your age, if you are not happy with the environment in which you find yourself, it is never too late to make a change.