Lillian Lincoln Lambert

With dreams of conquering the world, I left Ballsville, VA in Powhatan County more than fifty years ago and never thought I would return on such a positive note as I did last weekend.

Some friends hosted a lovely, well attended book event in the home of one of the couples. The host and hostesses had lived up North for a number of years but had returned home to to live in this quiet community. Their house was overflowing with about 80 people occupying the family room, music room and dining room.  It was diverse group – old, young, black, white, retirees, employees, etc. The array of tasty food and drink added to everyone’s enjoyment.  I was surprised to see some of those in attendance such as the current pastor from the church I attended as a child, TV newscasters and a newspaper columnist from the city where I now live, and the daughter of the man who was postmaster at my childhood post office. The latter is a white lady, someone I would not have been allowed to socialize with as a child because of the segregation laws.   She was so excited to know what had happened to me over the years.  I saw people whom I had not seen in years and met many new people most of who had moved to the area subsequent to my leaving.

The event was planned for three hours but a small group of us lingered around for another couple hours reminiscing about our younger days in this little town. I was exhausted when I arrived home but the pleasantries of the day overshadowed my tiredness. The day was a blessing.

A special thanks to my friends for such a memorable day!

I have always known that it is the small things in life that really matter. That fact was made more obvious to me over this Father’s Day weekend.

It began on Saturday when I arrived home from running errands.  My husband had received some father’s day cards in the mail and he had them lined up on the dining room table like toy soldiers in a row. With a big smile on his face he asked if I read the card from our youngest daughter. We are a blended family, each of us with adult children when we married.  I have two daughters and my husband has two daughters and one son. This card was from my youngest daughter. In essence it said though they did not share the same genes and were not related by blood, they were related by love. She added her personal note which said “To an awesome father!”  My husband said the card brought tears to his eyes.

Sunday added to his joy. We attended church service together. I was in the choir and he was in the congregation. Shortly after service started, in walked my husband’s son, his daughter, granddaughter and grandson. The look on his face as they approached him at the pew where he was sitting was the look of a kid who just saw his favorite toy under the Christmas tree. He was not expecting any of them. His face glowed throughout the service.  On the way home, he commented that this was one of the best father’s days he can remember. Except for weddings or funerals, he and his son had not worshiped together for years.

How often do we miss opportunities to bring joy to someone by a very simple deed?

Those who know me well know that I love to play golf. I especially enjoy playing with my husband.

A few days ago we played a course we had never played before. The course was not well maintained and as a result we spent more than a normal amount of time studying the course and looking for balls that landed in the much too tall rough.  Behind us was a lady who was playing alone. So in order not to have her waiting on each hole we let her play through, which is a common courtesy in golf.   

After a few holes we noticed a man behind us who was playing alone but we had not kept him waiting. On the 7^th hole we had to wait for the lady in front of us whom we had let play through earlier. As we were waiting on the tee box, the man who was playing behind us approached and asked if he could play along with us. We of course told him we would be pleased to have him join us.

What a surprise we had in store! This man was 90 years old and he out played both of us. He had a hip replacement some years earlier and the doctors told him he could no longer play golf. He ignored the doctor’s warning and began going out to play without their knowledge. On his subsequent visits to the doctor his progress had been better than they expected. He refused to allow the doctor’s warning to interfere with his determination to keep playing golf. He was, however, aware of his limitations.  He did not climb hills and would not walk on surfaces where he ran the risk of falling.  He was also an interesting conversationalist, sharing exciting stories about his life. His stamina and memory were remarkable.

Many people perceive getting older as a negative. I feel just the opposite. I am thankful for each day that I am able to start my day in good mental and physical health.  I don’t take it for granted.

Growing older has given me the opportunity of having many varied experiences. With these experiences have come maturity and wisdom. A former pastor once said “Youth and wisdom don’t reside in the same body”. There is some truth to that because wisdom is acquired as a result if some level of longevity. However longevity does not necessarily assure the acquisition wisdom.

With age has come a greater level of confidence. I am no longer as concerned about what people think about what I do, my beliefs or actions. My years have given me a level of intelligence that would dictate that I consider the consequences of my actions. I therefore would do nothing to damage my character or reputation. But I don’t need the type of permission or approval that I felt was needed at a younger age. I feel liberated to do things that I may have previously wanted to do but could not because of lack of time or resources or was concerned about “what people would say”. It could be a new hobby, skill or just something challenging. I find it easier to say no to things in which I don’t want to be involved or in which I have no interest. I have learned to spend more time taking care of me. I often have what I call “be good to myself days”.

I enjoyed my younger days but I am enjoying my older days just as much if not more.

Recently, a very talented writer for The Richmond Times Dispatch, Iris Taylor, wrote a profile of me, published May 31, 2010.  http://ht.ly/1S6Ov. The article explored various aspects of my life from a child growing up on a small farm with few modern conveniences in rural Powhatan, VA to my current life as an author and professional speaker. I received lots of feedback about the article but one in particular stood out.

This was from a 65-year-old retired teacher in Powhatan who thinks I was sent to her through the article because of a dream she has.  Over the past couple of years the county has faced some critical issues dealing with their youth. This lady works with the YMCA and wants to use their resources to engage, motivate and inspire both black and white youth of the county. To her the article was another “omen” to move forward. She has asked me to work with her on a committee she wishes to establish and I have agreed to do so.

What better way to come full circle – going back to the place I started and have a positive impact on the lives of young people!