Lillian Lincoln Lambert

I spend quite a bit of time on planes and waiting in airports so I have the opportunity to interact with a number of people. Those opportunities will increase over the next few months as I begin my book tour.

Recently on a flight from Atlanta to Richmond, I sat next to a lady who was traveling from Denver to Richmond because her job was transferring her. She initiated a conversation that became more interesting as we talked. She was traveling with her cat. I asked if it was just her and her cat and she informed me that she had a husband and two girls who would be joining her the following week. I sat thinking to myself. Since she is being transferred I assume her husband is either being transferred or will be looking for a job. I finally asked her “Is your husband being transferred or will he be looking for a job?” Her answer was priceless: “My husband has been a stay-at-home-dad for six years.” I was so impressed as I informed her that when my children were small that would have been taboo. She said that sometimes her husband does get the strange questions such as “When are you going to get a real job?” The response to that is he has a real job of taking care of his children and household. I would give him the title of Chief Household Officer (CHO) – a very important job which has been held by women for years.

She felt her husband had done a wonderful job over the years and she was very proud of him. It was a decision that they discussed in detail and arrived at based on what was best for the family. I would venture to say, however, that it takes a man who is very secure with himself to undertake that role. Though there has been progress, society has not fully embraced it. There are still those questions, both asked and unasked. It is my hope that more men will undertake that role when it is in the best interest of the family. Are that many more of you out there? I welcome comments.

When I started my career after graduate school, I was married for four years before I had children. Fortunately, when my first child was born, I was working with a company that was very supportive of motherhood. I changed employers just before the birth of my second child and, luckily, was again blessed to have an employer who valued motherhood. When my children were two and four, I started my own business. I then had control of my own destiny, or did I?

As an entrepreneur, you are faced with the same decisions about balancing family and career that you face as an employee. One difference is you no longer have to get the concurrence of your employer when business matters conflict with family. At times, however, there will be conflicts between what’s best for the family and what’s best for the business. To keep things in balance, I adopted some key principles that helped me set priorities and stay focused. Some of these include:

*Accept the fact that you can’t have it all. Life is about making choices and setting priorities. Reflect on your values and clearly define what is important to you.

*Don’t be reluctant to ask for help. Many people are willing to help but may not offer for fear of feeling they are intruding or they may not know how they can help. Only you know what is helpful to you. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

*Learn to say no. Busy people are the ones who are usually asked to do things. Sometimes out of a sense of obligation, we commit to things we know we should not.

*Take time for you , in order to reenergize; if you are unhappy or in a bad mood, your family knows it.

*Make sure you take care of your health, not putting off those necessary exams or tests simply because you are too busy.

*Most important, don’t feel guilty about whatever decision you make about how you will combine family and Career. Outsiders don’t know the full story.

Enjoy your family and your career!

The millennial generation is generally referred to as those born from the early 1980s to 1990s. In general these youngsters are considered to be sociable, optimistic, talented, well educated, collaborative, open-minded, influential and achievement oriented. They have high expectations and are well connected. They can put together a group to support a cause with the click of a mouse. Witness the young people, many from this generation, who orchestrated President Obama’s campaign.

They are the first generation to grow up surrounded by digital media. They are sophisticated communicators because technology is second nature. There is, however, one area of concern about technology and that is the digital divide and the gap between the haves and have-nots. There are still some young people living in poor areas who do not have access to computers, much less own computers

These youngsters lead very busy scheduled and structured lives. Matter of fact, they are the busiest generation of children, facing time pressures traditionally reserved for adults. In fact, they may be overbooked between their studies, extracurricular activities, and socializing with friends. Their schedules are micromanaged by parents, teachers, coaches, etc., with parents shuttling them from place to place. Despite all of their activities, they are civic –minded and find time to volunteer. .

On the darker side, they have been exposed to a complex, challenging world at a young age: 9/11, Oklahoma bombings; the Iraq war, world hunger, the economic downturn, the global financial crisis, global warming and Katrina. But the positive outcome from these acts is the emergence of a renewed symbolism for our everyday heroes, policemen, firemen and other public servants who perform unselfish acts to protect or save the lives of others.

The millennial generation is probably the first generation of Americans who are truly accepting of and comfortable with different races and cultures. They have more daily interaction with other ethnicities and cultures than any other generation. Their generation was probably the most comfortable with the theme of president Obama’ campaign of one America. The opportunities for them are many and they can have a major impactt on the future direction of our country.