Lillian Lincoln Lambert

Over the course of our lives, we all have successes, disappointments, hardships, failures and other things that shape our character and help to develop wisdom. Wisdom is acquired over time based on a variety of experiences. I once had a pastor who said that youth and wisdom do not reside in the same body. There is some truth in that statement but wisdom does not automatically come with age. Instead, it depends on your ability to bring into play the experiences from all that life has handed us.
I speak from experience. As a young girl, growing up on a farm in the South, I wanted nothing more than to leave that farm when I became 18, an adult, and head to New York City. I knew what was best for me – or so I thought- and more education was not it! It took about four years of struggling to survive in the “big city”, working menial jobs and living from hand-to-mouth before I realized that an education was the key to a better life. For me, it took the experience of struggling to survive in the “big city” with no salable skills that caused me to wise up. My life is full of experiences that have helped me to become wiser and it has not ended yet.
An examination of your experiences on the journey of life will certainly pinpoint some situations where you did not make wise decisions. What did you learn from that experience? There is the tendency to classify things as “failures” when it can be a warning to do something different. A failure is that only if you learn nothing from the experience. So wise up.

My husband and I just returned from an exciting week in Kansas City, KS and Kansas City, MO.  My primary purpose for the trip was to be a keynote speaker at the Economic Empowerment Summit at Harvest Church where the graduating class from its Joseph Business School was honored.  The school selects and trains entrepreneurs in practical aspects of starting and running a business. Based on principles taught in the church. It was a great experience where I met many new friends and entrepreneurs.

Why travel so far and not take advantage of other things in the area by adding a few extra days to the trip? Fortunately my sister-in-law lives in KC and she is very involved in the community.  We arrived in time to attend a reception and book signing for Terry McMillan who is promoting her new book “Getting to Happy’. What an interesting person!

It is amazing how we go to college with people and seem to not have much in common and years later can connect and share so much!  My husband and I had dinner with two classmates who were in my section at Harvard Business School and their spouses.  One I had seen a year ago at the 40^th class reunion, saw again when I was in KC in April and again on this trip – three times in one year after 40 years of no contact. The other one I had not seen since graduation in 1969. After all these years there was so much to talk about that there was not a quiet moment. We promised to stay in touch.

The trip ended with my sister-in-law entertaining friends at her home on Sunday afternoon. This gave me the opportunity to get to know some new friends in greater depth.  My sister-in-law likes any excuse to entertain and I promised to give her more excuses in the future.

Yesterday was a great day spent in the company of about 15 high school girls. I was invited to be the guest speaker for the Girls Empowerment Program of a summer camp.

I must admit, I was a bit intimidated when I first received the request. My thought was “How will I relate to a small group of teenage girls?” I need not have worried. These young ladies were attentive, respectful, interactive and anxious to learn. I shared with them my life story: how and where I grew up, mistakes I made, things I did well and not so well, how I dealt with challenges and overcame obstacles. They had questions and were not reluctant to ask them and to get involved in the discussion. Our discussion dealt with goal setting, decision making, self esteem and career planning. The overall theme of my message was based on this quote by Mark Caine, an author: “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you find yourself”. I left them with a list of my “Guiding Principles”, which were developed based on the experiences of my life.

At the end of the session the sponsor gave each young lady a copy of my memoir, “The Road to Someplace Better: From the Segregated South to Harvard Business School and Beyond”.  I signed the books and personalized each girl’s copy.

It was a very rewarding day.

Many people perceive getting older as a negative. I feel just the opposite. I am thankful for each day that I am able to start my day in good mental and physical health.  I don’t take it for granted.

Growing older has given me the opportunity of having many varied experiences. With these experiences have come maturity and wisdom. A former pastor once said “Youth and wisdom don’t reside in the same body”. There is some truth to that because wisdom is acquired as a result if some level of longevity. However longevity does not necessarily assure the acquisition wisdom.

With age has come a greater level of confidence. I am no longer as concerned about what people think about what I do, my beliefs or actions. My years have given me a level of intelligence that would dictate that I consider the consequences of my actions. I therefore would do nothing to damage my character or reputation. But I don’t need the type of permission or approval that I felt was needed at a younger age. I feel liberated to do things that I may have previously wanted to do but could not because of lack of time or resources or was concerned about “what people would say”. It could be a new hobby, skill or just something challenging. I find it easier to say no to things in which I don’t want to be involved or in which I have no interest. I have learned to spend more time taking care of me. I often have what I call “be good to myself days”.

I enjoyed my younger days but I am enjoying my older days just as much if not more.

It’s been two weeks since I wrote my last blog. So much has happened since then. It seems that every place where I had a book event, I either was a day ahead or a day behind the snow storm. Only one event was cancelled, Mary Baldwin College, Staunton, VA, and plans are underway to reschedule.

After a successful book signing at Barnes & Noble, Libbie Ave, Richmond, VA, on Feb 13, I headed to New York City for a signing at Hue-Man Book store on Feb 16. It was snowing when we landed at LaGuardia and snowed all day, stopping just before the scheduled signing at 6 PM. Despite the snow a good crowd showed up and about half of them purchased books, a good percentage. The next night, Feb 17, I was one of three participants on a panel discussion at Harvard Club of New York, The other panelists were Ilene Lane, President & CEO, Catalyst and Selena Cuffe, President & CEO, Heritage Link Brands, a company that imports wines from South Africa. This was interesting and offered great networking opportunities.

An early flight back to Richmond, VA on Feb 18 was necessary in order to make the two-hour drive to Alexandria, VA for an event at Alexandria Black History Museum at 6 PM. In a wonderful, intimate setting with homemade goodies (made by my sister-in-law) we had a great evening surrounded by a few feet of piled up snow. The next night, Feb 19 took me to DC where I was honored with a reception in recognition of my induction into Enterprising Women Hall of Fame on March 18 in Miami. My good friend and golfing buddy, Susan Peterson, President & CEO, The Communication Center hosted the reception. Saturday, Feb 20 took me to Politics & Prose, a great independent bookstore on Connecticut Ave, DC where I had a book signing. Thankfully , I sold lots of books and saw some people whom I had not seen for years.

Sunday, Feb 21, I enjoyed visiting Mt. Pero Baptist Church, the church where I grew up as a child. Though few of my contemporaries were there, it was good to see many of their family. That afternoon, I flew to Boston to speak at two schools – Belmont High School, Boston and Galvin Middle School, Wakefield. Got out of Boston a day before a predicted snow storm, headed for Sarasota, FL. On Wed. Feb 24, SisterSpace and University of FL, Gainesville hosted a signing in the newly constructed Alumni Center at U of FL, Gainesville. I had the opportunity to interact with some very intelligent, interesting students. With students such as those, our future is in good hands.

I closed out the week in Columbia, SC where I attended the South Carolina Book Festival. I was part of a three-person panel of authors who had all written memoirs. Each of us was quite different. Joining me on the panel was Jackie Cooper, a southern gentleman and Shelia Morris an acknowledged lesbian. This was a fantastic two days. I met so many authors, made some valuable contacts and sold some books. What more could I ask!

On Mar 4, I head to Boston for three days of events. Will report back later.