Lillian Lincoln Lambert

This month a great deal of emphasis is being placed on breast cancer. Such a tragic disease needs as much attention as possible. Hopefully, there will be a cure in the near future.  A variety of activities have been executed all over the world in recognition of breast cancer survivors and in memory of those who have succumbed to the disease.

Last week on my flight from Durban, South Africa, I sat next to a young lady who is a breast cancer survivor.  During our conversation we were both curious as to why the other had traveled to Durban.  She shared with me that she lives in Philadelphia, PA and had traveled to Durban to participate in a breast cancer function.

This young lady was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 28. She is now 42 so has been a survivor for 14 years. The activity for which she traveled to South Africa was interesting and quite unique. Annually, about 25 women from various parts of the world, all of whom are breast cancer survivors, travel to Durban to ride motorcycles from Durban to Capetown, South Africa, a distance of almost 1,000 miles.  The trip is done over 7- 8 days allowing them to stop at different locations along the way to spend the night. A variety of companies serve as sponsors for the trip. What a novel idea!  Is there something like this in the United States?

I love to travel.  Through travel I am exposed to many people from other parts of the country as well as other parts of the world. I have learned so much about different cultures and the way of life for others. That has given me an appreciation and respect for the beliefs and lies of those I meet.  It does not matter whether I agree with or even understand the differences I see, I can still respect them.

Sitting in Durban, South Africa in a lovely bed and breakfast I reflect on the similarities and differences of this trip and my trip to Johannesburg, Port Elizabeth and Capetown, South Africa three years ago.  On this trip my experience has gone from  intellectual discussions at the largest university here to an authentic Indian dinner in the home of an Indian couple and their two lovely daughters to learning about and some limited experiences of the Zulu life.  The trip three years ago was longer and covered more territory, including Robben Island (where Nelson Mandela was incarcerated), Soweto Wine Festival and The Apartheid Museum.  Each experience was unique.  I learned a lot about apartheid from the people who lived through it and the changes in South African life since it ended. What humiliation they endured and the strength they exhibited to live through it and talk about it.

Travel also makes me appreciate and be more thankful what I have; not complain about my problems and move ahead with a purpose in life.

I had the opportunity to accept an engagement to speak at the Price Prather Luncheon for the Women in the Profession Committee of the Mississippi Bar Association. What a wonderful experience. From the moment I landed in Sandestin, Fl until I left I was treated like royalty.

My hostess met me at the airport and the first thing I noticed was her beautiful, broad smile. She then greeted me with a big hug.  Having grown up in the south, I know that is typical of southerners. It does not matter whether they have known you for some time or just meeting you, they want you to feel welcome. My, how the world could use more of that thinking!

In a room beautifully decorated in Tiffany (one of the sponsors) colors, after a tasty lunch I addressed about 80 female judges and lawyers (there were a few men scattered in the audience). They requested that I talk on the topic “The Road to Someplace Better”, which is the title of my recently released book. They wanted to know to what I attributed my level of success. Four traits were dominant: persistence, resilience, courage and a good moral compass.

A persistent person is able to continue toward a goal even in the face of opposition.  Determination is a trademark. Resilience is the ability to spring back. Plan but remain flexible: you may have to endure detours or develop a new way of thinking in order to achieve your goals. Sometimes you must be courageous enough to push yourself out of your comfort zone: be brave enough to do something that seems daring. Take calculated risk. Your moral compass will direct your life. Whatever you do in life, you must be able to live with yourself. Never  compromise  yourself  or  your  values  but  maintain  the  highest  standards  of  excellence  and  integrity. So cultivate a moral compass that protects not only your reputation, but most importantly protects your soul.

We all have our bad days. It could be because of something that happened or did not happen. Or, we may just wake up in a bad mood.  Sometimes there are situations when things are just not going well.  I admit it is easy to begin feeling sorry for yourself and wanting others to share that feeling. In life we have to play the hand we are dealt but find ways to make the best play. Whining and fretting does not help the situation.  We may be inclined to wallow in pity and decide to throw a pity party to which we invite any and everyone.  Well, forget it!  You may find that you are the only one attending your pity party.  Feeling sorry for yourself accomplishes nothing and people don’t enjoy being around someone who is crying the blues.

            When you are feeling sorry for yourself remember the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.