Lillian Lincoln Lambert

No matter what you do, you must be able to live with yourself. If, early in your life, you establish the values by which you will live, this moral compass will direct you in whatever you do. Clearly define your values and commit to live by them

           My moral compass was established growing up on my family’s small farm. At that time, I did not appreciate the values my parents tried to instill in me. We did not have much in the way of material things but we had things that money could not buy, such as love, support and a faith in God. That training coupled with strong families who supported each other helped me develop a moral system that would direct my life.

            Knowing yourself is crucial as you are faced with ethical choices, as you communicate with others who have different ideas or even as you make day-to-day decisions. If you are clear about your own values, priorities and preferences and not let society or someone else define them for you, you can better articulate what you want and make better choices. Never compromise yourself or your values but maintain the highest standards of excellence and integrity. So cultivate a moral compass that not only protects your reputation but more important, protects your soul.

• Is there a smaller dream that might be the first step in getting to the larger dream?
• What skills do you have that will aid you in the pursuit of this dream?
• What steps can you take today toward pursuing your dream?

When you uncover what you love to do and recognize your inherent skills, you’ll realize that there are opportunities to follow your dream all around you.

While I don’t claim to be an expert on religion, as I look back over the years, and examine the development of events. I am convinced that it was Divine Intervention that caused both Martin Luther King and Barack Obama to pursue their life’s purpose with such dedication and vigor. I feel that Martin King was put on this Earth for a very specific purpose, just as we all are, but he was more dogmatic than most of us in finding and continuing to work at his life’s purpose. MLK’s life work was cut short by his untimely death. Yet, he lives on in Barack Obama. I reflect back on this young man who seemingly came out of nowhere to become a US Senator, who gave a dynamic speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 and ran for president in 2008. This young man, Barack Obama, spoke of Hope — Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope. HE SAID “In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead. Yes, Barack Obama is carrying “MLK’s Dream” to the highest office in the United States. An African-American whose name “Barack” means “Blessed!”

We all have our personal stories. Growing up in a small farming village in VA, not only did I not plan to go to Harvard but I had no plans to go to college until I was forced to look at my circumstances and realize that I needed a college education to make something of myself. So at the ripe age of 22 years old, I became a full-time student at Howard University and that changed the course of my life. That’s WHERE I was influenced by a professor, H. Naylor Fitzhugh, who became my mentor and who had gotten his MBA from HBS, one of the first black men to do so in 1933. Never in my life had I heard a black person speak with such conviction and eloquence about business and our race. I was transfixed by his words: “Business is a way for blacks to take control of their destiny.”

How did I, a poor, black farm girl from Ballsville, Virginia, end up here? , Why am I here? In that instant there was my dear mother, a former school teacher who wanted nothing more than for her daughter to continue her education; my mentor at Howard University, Professor Fitzhugh, another professor at Howard who handed me a Harvard Business School application and demanded that I complete it’ a cousin who kept nagging me to stop wasting my time in menial jobs and go to college. Finally, there was my father, a man with a 3rd grade education , who didn’t even know the name of the school but was so proud to tell everyone that “Lillian is going to the same school that President Kennedy went to.” Reflecting on all these people, I knew the course of my life was set: I had a responsibility, and I could not disappoint the people who supported me. I had to move forward.

Throughout the campaign the President emphasized the need for everyone to become involved. It does not need to be big but something as small as tutoring a child, or working in a soup kitchen or just picking up pieces as trash instead of walking by it. It is so simplistic. Sometimes we look for complicated answers and overlook simple solutions. Just a few hours of your time. You will be the richer for it. We must all do our part. In his speech in Phila. on Sat as part of his train ride to DC, he again emphasized the need for service and announced the creation of – Organizing for America – an organization through which everyone can find something to do. And he said, “Let’s make sure this election is not the end of what we do to chance America, but the beginning.” That was his dream and he took every step imaginable to get there. There is a role for each of us. Have you decided what your part will be?

Finances

Many people are intimidated about financial matters and that is usually because they have a lack of knowledge. That can be easily corrected if you are willing to take responsibility for gaining the knowledge you need. There are many resources to help you accomplish this. You may choose to attend seminars, read financial publications or talk to those who have the knowledge, such as financial planners.

It is critical that women become more financially astute because too many find themselves in situations where they are unexpectedly in the position of having to manage the family finances because of either death or divorce. Too often, they have no idea what they own or how to manage it. In today’s critical financial environment, it is even more important that everybody become knowledgeable about finances. It does not mean you have to become an expert but it does mean learning some of the basics. These include, but not limited to, knowing how to develop and live on a budget, how to get the most out of your money, how to maximize your return, knowing techniques to save money, and asking the right questions. This requires some investment of time but it is well worth it in order to increase your knowledge. An important thing is staying on top of your credit. Keep your credit under control. With the high interest rate on credit card debt and the high penalty of paying late or paying the minimum, it is important not to overextend yourself.

So how do you get and maintain good credit. First, get a copy of your credit report. Everyone is entitled to a free credit report from each of the credit bureaus: Transunion, Equifax and Experian. If you have a computer or access to one you can secure your report at www.annualcreditreport.com. Your other option is to call each agency: Equifax 800-685-1111; Experian 888-397-3742; Transunion 800-916-8800. Having a computer and knowing how to use it is beneficial because you can go on line and retrieve this information. In addition to getting your credit report, get a copy of your credit score, which is what lenders use to determine your credit worthiness.

Your credit score is based on the following:

• payment history
• outstanding debt
• length of your credit history
• recent inquiries on your credit report
• types of credit in use

Some ways to save money:

• Clipping coupons and sending in rebates
• Using your senior citizens discounts everywhere you can
• Learn when stores have discounts and shop on those days
• Plan trips to save gas
• Save change

Things you need to have in place:

• A will
• A living will or medical directive
• Long-term care insurance
• A trusted financial advisor

Share your information with someone you trust. So many people work all their lives and much of what they accumulate goes to the government or lawyers simply because they have not put a proper plan in place. Vow not to let that happen to you.

You are now in an important phase of your life and you should enjoy it. Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it. Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something to happen in the future. The time you have now is precious. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Personal Development

When you were working, no doubt, you thought of many things that you would do if only you did not have to go to work every day. Let me ask you a few questions. Now that you are retired, how many of those things are you actually doing? Are you planning your personal time or are you allowing others to plan it for you? What is the one thing that you have always wanted to do? Do you feel that you’ve waited too long, you are too old, or friends and family say it’s a ridiculous idea? I’m sure we have all heard of people who have retired and have gone back to school to learn a trade or to study a field of interest or even to get a degree. In those cases, they felt so much better about themselves because they expanded their horizon. Is there a trade or a hobby you always wanted to develop – playing the piano, taking singing lessons, learning to sew, learning a new card game? Whatever it is, this is a great time to get started.

If you can’t think of something that you want do, I have a couple of suggestions of things that you should do. One is learn the basics of using the computer and the other is learn more about finance. I will discuss finance in Part III.

Unless you’ve been living on another planet, you know that the internet, in some way, has taken over most of our lives. Almost everything you do will have some connection with the internet, but you must have some basic computer skills in order to access the internet. There is, however, a positive side to this. You can go on a website and find almost any information that you want to know. Therefore, if you or someone very close to you does not understand the computer you will be left behind because our future is going to be heavily reliant upon it. That’s not a problem for younger generations so if there are young people in your lives they can certainly handle most computer issues. The question is will they take the time to do all the things that you want them to do or will they be around when you need someone to access the computer? Even if they are, you should assume responsibility for obtaining that knowledge for yourself. Remember, knowledge if power. Once you have it, no one can take it from you. So get moving – take a computer course to expand your horizon. You may find such courses at community colleges, adult education programs, park and recreation programs or maybe even the library.

Make your retirement payoff and improve yourself. Start with something challenging or start with something new, but start now.

A compass is an instrument that shows direction. We can look at it and tell whether we are traveling north, east, south or west. While we don’t have such an instrument to tell the direction in which our lives are headed, we can set up some parameters to help guide our lives in the direction we want to go.

I speak as a once-retired now back-to-work person who discovered that full retirement did not suit me. If you are retired or thinking of retiring, these three areas should be given careful consideration. I will address them in three separate segments.

• Family
• Personal
• Financial

Part 1: Retirement & Family

Retirement is a phenomenon that many of our fore parents were not able to enjoy. Too many of them worked until they died because they couldn’t afford to retire. We now have the luxury of retirement, but are we enjoying it? Frequently people retire and don’t plan what they will do with this extra time that was devoted to work for many years. If you are newly retired, I’m sure you find that there are some extra hours in your day. You may or may not have filled those hours with things that you want to do. On the other hand, if you have been retired for some time, you have probably filled those extra hours or someone has filled them for you. Retirement should be about doing things that you want to do that you have not been able to do while you were working. As a retiree, there should be more time available for you to work on maintaining relationships with family members that you were not able to do while you were working. This could include your spouse, children, grandchildren or siblings. Notice I said there should be more time available, but that may not be the case because most retired people I know are busier after retirement than they were when they were working. It is just how you allocate your time.

In addition to being retired yourself, your spouse may also be retired. For those of you who are in that situation, I’m sure it took some adjustments for both of you to get the used to spending more time in each other’s presence. When you were both working or if only one of you was working, it was not an issue. Now there may be too much togetherness. I have the most wonderful husband but sometimes I want my space and he wants his. Wanting separate space has absolutely nothing to do with how you feel toward each other. Instead, it’s called respecting each other’s territory.
However, if you plan to spend more time together you may discover that you have similar interests that neither of you had taken time to discover. In my own case, my husband and I enjoy many of the same things. We love to travel; we both play golf and we are involved in church activities. However, we don’t smother each other. We play golf together sometimes, but I also have my group and he has his. He has his club activities and I have my club activities. We sometimes watch the same television shows and sometimes we watch separate shows.

These are just a few tidbits of some things to consider as you include family in your retirement. Be creative as you think of retirement and family but find positive ways to build or improve relationships with both family and friends.

I would love to hear your comments, concerns or experiences with this Retirement and Family. Stick around for Part 2: Personal