Lillian Lincoln Lambert

Those who know me well know that I am an avid golfer. That does not mean my game is impressive. I’d say it is “average” for someone who took up the game at age 46.  I will get up early and travel distances to play a round. Weather does, however, impact my decision to play. I will not go out in the rain and if it starts raining during a game, I will probably quit. Likewise, temperatures must be in the 50’s to entice me.

I am fortunately to be able to play golf year round. Spring and summers are spent in Virginia where I play in a league once a week and try to get in an extra day with my husband. During the fall and winter I am in Florida and play in a league with a second day of play most weeks.

Golf is not a game I ever thought I would play and certainly not enjoy. I used to think this had to be the dumbest game in the world! How could there be any enjoyment in hitting a little white ball until it finally gets into a hole. But once I started, I was intrigued by the challenge of the game. I do like a challenge!

As I progressed in learning the rules and etiquette of the game, I began to draw many parallels between the game of golf and the game of life.  In golf, your partner will sometimes give a mulligan (that is a second change to hit the ball after a bad shot). When that happens to me, I am grateful for being given a second chance to start my game on the right foot. So it is with life. Every day that I wake up in good health— a good frame of mind is a bonus—I see it as God’s way of giving me a second chance to improve the life that has been given to me.

However, a second chance, in both life and golf, comes with no guarantees. We may get it right, or we may get it wrong. In both cases, it’s up to us to stay focused on the goal of continuously improving ourselves and taking responsibility for the outcome. In the end, the game of life and the game of golf are a competition with oneself. In golf, it’s futile to blame the weather, the ball, the terrain, or the people we play with for a bad round. In life, it does us no good to blame others when things don’t turn out the way we want. Although we might not master every day or win every game, the key is to see each one as another chance to improve our game or our life.

Arising from my bed on Sunday to prepare for my departure from Durban, SA I turned on the TV not expecting to find anything of interest or in a language I could understand. What appeared on the screen was an elderly man dressed in jeans, a cotton shirt and wide brim hat. In the background was an open field that looked like a farm, inhibited by cows and other farm animals. After listening for a minute or so, it was obvious that he was a preacher. What a difference in the background that I was accustomed to in the USA – a preacher impeccably dressed with extensive sound systems, beautiful décor and maybe a huge choir in the background! His topic was “The Scope of your Purpose”

A few things struck me about his message.

1. Success is failure turned inside out.

2. People spend too much time being “picky” that is picking out all the bad in others.

3. Too often our purpose is treated frivolously. We pursue it in a halfhearted manner.

These are things to think about. We never know where we will get our next lesson. We can learn something from everyone regardless of the attire.

Many people perceive getting older as a negative. I feel just the opposite. I am thankful for each day that I am able to start my day in good mental and physical health.  I don’t take it for granted.

Growing older has given me the opportunity of having many varied experiences. With these experiences have come maturity and wisdom. A former pastor once said “Youth and wisdom don’t reside in the same body”. There is some truth to that because wisdom is acquired as a result if some level of longevity. However longevity does not necessarily assure the acquisition wisdom.

With age has come a greater level of confidence. I am no longer as concerned about what people think about what I do, my beliefs or actions. My years have given me a level of intelligence that would dictate that I consider the consequences of my actions. I therefore would do nothing to damage my character or reputation. But I don’t need the type of permission or approval that I felt was needed at a younger age. I feel liberated to do things that I may have previously wanted to do but could not because of lack of time or resources or was concerned about “what people would say”. It could be a new hobby, skill or just something challenging. I find it easier to say no to things in which I don’t want to be involved or in which I have no interest. I have learned to spend more time taking care of me. I often have what I call “be good to myself days”.

I enjoyed my younger days but I am enjoying my older days just as much if not more.

Finances

Many people are intimidated about financial matters and that is usually because they have a lack of knowledge. That can be easily corrected if you are willing to take responsibility for gaining the knowledge you need. There are many resources to help you accomplish this. You may choose to attend seminars, read financial publications or talk to those who have the knowledge, such as financial planners.

It is critical that women become more financially astute because too many find themselves in situations where they are unexpectedly in the position of having to manage the family finances because of either death or divorce. Too often, they have no idea what they own or how to manage it. In today’s critical financial environment, it is even more important that everybody become knowledgeable about finances. It does not mean you have to become an expert but it does mean learning some of the basics. These include, but not limited to, knowing how to develop and live on a budget, how to get the most out of your money, how to maximize your return, knowing techniques to save money, and asking the right questions. This requires some investment of time but it is well worth it in order to increase your knowledge. An important thing is staying on top of your credit. Keep your credit under control. With the high interest rate on credit card debt and the high penalty of paying late or paying the minimum, it is important not to overextend yourself.

So how do you get and maintain good credit. First, get a copy of your credit report. Everyone is entitled to a free credit report from each of the credit bureaus: Transunion, Equifax and Experian. If you have a computer or access to one you can secure your report at www.annualcreditreport.com. Your other option is to call each agency: Equifax 800-685-1111; Experian 888-397-3742; Transunion 800-916-8800. Having a computer and knowing how to use it is beneficial because you can go on line and retrieve this information. In addition to getting your credit report, get a copy of your credit score, which is what lenders use to determine your credit worthiness.

Your credit score is based on the following:

• payment history
• outstanding debt
• length of your credit history
• recent inquiries on your credit report
• types of credit in use

Some ways to save money:

• Clipping coupons and sending in rebates
• Using your senior citizens discounts everywhere you can
• Learn when stores have discounts and shop on those days
• Plan trips to save gas
• Save change

Things you need to have in place:

• A will
• A living will or medical directive
• Long-term care insurance
• A trusted financial advisor

Share your information with someone you trust. So many people work all their lives and much of what they accumulate goes to the government or lawyers simply because they have not put a proper plan in place. Vow not to let that happen to you.

You are now in an important phase of your life and you should enjoy it. Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it. Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something to happen in the future. The time you have now is precious. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Personal Development

When you were working, no doubt, you thought of many things that you would do if only you did not have to go to work every day. Let me ask you a few questions. Now that you are retired, how many of those things are you actually doing? Are you planning your personal time or are you allowing others to plan it for you? What is the one thing that you have always wanted to do? Do you feel that you’ve waited too long, you are too old, or friends and family say it’s a ridiculous idea? I’m sure we have all heard of people who have retired and have gone back to school to learn a trade or to study a field of interest or even to get a degree. In those cases, they felt so much better about themselves because they expanded their horizon. Is there a trade or a hobby you always wanted to develop – playing the piano, taking singing lessons, learning to sew, learning a new card game? Whatever it is, this is a great time to get started.

If you can’t think of something that you want do, I have a couple of suggestions of things that you should do. One is learn the basics of using the computer and the other is learn more about finance. I will discuss finance in Part III.

Unless you’ve been living on another planet, you know that the internet, in some way, has taken over most of our lives. Almost everything you do will have some connection with the internet, but you must have some basic computer skills in order to access the internet. There is, however, a positive side to this. You can go on a website and find almost any information that you want to know. Therefore, if you or someone very close to you does not understand the computer you will be left behind because our future is going to be heavily reliant upon it. That’s not a problem for younger generations so if there are young people in your lives they can certainly handle most computer issues. The question is will they take the time to do all the things that you want them to do or will they be around when you need someone to access the computer? Even if they are, you should assume responsibility for obtaining that knowledge for yourself. Remember, knowledge if power. Once you have it, no one can take it from you. So get moving – take a computer course to expand your horizon. You may find such courses at community colleges, adult education programs, park and recreation programs or maybe even the library.

Make your retirement payoff and improve yourself. Start with something challenging or start with something new, but start now.