Lillian Lincoln Lambert

As we enter into this new school year, there is excitement for students, parents, teachers and school administrators. Many high school seniors face this year with enthusiasm and great anticipation.  At the end of the year they can exert their independence when they leave the comfort of their homes where parents have more control over their lives. Many parents are hopefully that their child will be headed to college and they will be pushing to get the college application completed before the deadline. How many parents ask “Is my child ready for college?

            For some students a year or two break between high school and college can be beneficial.  I speak from experience – a four-year break. My break, however, was not a planned break whereby I was preparing to go later. When I finished high school I did not think I needed a college education. Since my parents had no money to pay for college, I felt free to conquer the world on my own terms. I got my first “degree” from the “school of hard knocks” before realizing I needed a college education.  Finally, I entered a four-year college followed by two years for my graduate degree. For those six years I was very focused; something that was probably unlikely for me immediately after high school.

            If your child is ready for college, that’s great. If not, a planned gap can be very beneficial and does not mean the student is doomed for failure. It can relieve the stress of the application process when the student does apply. The student can take some courses at a community college; do some traveling and take time to explore career options. A great deal of maturity can occur with a carefully laid out plan. I urge parents and students to make the decision that best fits the youngster.

I had the opportunity to accept an engagement to speak at the Price Prather Luncheon for the Women in the Profession Committee of the Mississippi Bar Association. What a wonderful experience. From the moment I landed in Sandestin, Fl until I left I was treated like royalty.

My hostess met me at the airport and the first thing I noticed was her beautiful, broad smile. She then greeted me with a big hug.  Having grown up in the south, I know that is typical of southerners. It does not matter whether they have known you for some time or just meeting you, they want you to feel welcome. My, how the world could use more of that thinking!

In a room beautifully decorated in Tiffany (one of the sponsors) colors, after a tasty lunch I addressed about 80 female judges and lawyers (there were a few men scattered in the audience). They requested that I talk on the topic “The Road to Someplace Better”, which is the title of my recently released book. They wanted to know to what I attributed my level of success. Four traits were dominant: persistence, resilience, courage and a good moral compass.

A persistent person is able to continue toward a goal even in the face of opposition.  Determination is a trademark. Resilience is the ability to spring back. Plan but remain flexible: you may have to endure detours or develop a new way of thinking in order to achieve your goals. Sometimes you must be courageous enough to push yourself out of your comfort zone: be brave enough to do something that seems daring. Take calculated risk. Your moral compass will direct your life. Whatever you do in life, you must be able to live with yourself. Never  compromise  yourself  or  your  values  but  maintain  the  highest  standards  of  excellence  and  integrity. So cultivate a moral compass that protects not only your reputation, but most importantly protects your soul.

Yesterday was a great day spent in the company of about 15 high school girls. I was invited to be the guest speaker for the Girls Empowerment Program of a summer camp.

I must admit, I was a bit intimidated when I first received the request. My thought was “How will I relate to a small group of teenage girls?” I need not have worried. These young ladies were attentive, respectful, interactive and anxious to learn. I shared with them my life story: how and where I grew up, mistakes I made, things I did well and not so well, how I dealt with challenges and overcame obstacles. They had questions and were not reluctant to ask them and to get involved in the discussion. Our discussion dealt with goal setting, decision making, self esteem and career planning. The overall theme of my message was based on this quote by Mark Caine, an author: “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you find yourself”. I left them with a list of my “Guiding Principles”, which were developed based on the experiences of my life.

At the end of the session the sponsor gave each young lady a copy of my memoir, “The Road to Someplace Better: From the Segregated South to Harvard Business School and Beyond”.  I signed the books and personalized each girl’s copy.

It was a very rewarding day.

We all have our bad days. It could be because of something that happened or did not happen. Or, we may just wake up in a bad mood.  Sometimes there are situations when things are just not going well.  I admit it is easy to begin feeling sorry for yourself and wanting others to share that feeling. In life we have to play the hand we are dealt but find ways to make the best play. Whining and fretting does not help the situation.  We may be inclined to wallow in pity and decide to throw a pity party to which we invite any and everyone.  Well, forget it!  You may find that you are the only one attending your pity party.  Feeling sorry for yourself accomplishes nothing and people don’t enjoy being around someone who is crying the blues.

            When you are feeling sorry for yourself remember the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Will we ever get beyond the race issue in this country? I had hoped so and was quite optimistic that we would, but recently I’ve become more doubtful.

Having grown up in the segregated south, attended segregated schools and witnessed the results of the civil rights movements and those laws implemented to assure more equal treatment, I was hopeful that the country was on the right track. The election of president Obama was certainly a positive step in that direction. But since his nomination and election, the divide seems to be widening instead of closing. The incidents of Rev. Wright, Skip Gates, The Black Panthers, The Tea Party movement and now Shirley Sherrod all bring out the worse in too many people.

Unless we begin to talk about race and the prejudices that exist on all sides and look for ways that we are more alike than different, I see little hope. In my opinion, it is more an issue of culture than race. It just happens to separate along racial lines. We have come too far to turn around.