Lillian Lincoln Lambert

Over the course of our lives, we all have successes, disappointments, hardships, failures and other things that shape our character and help to develop wisdom. Wisdom is acquired over time based on a variety of experiences. I once had a pastor who said that youth and wisdom do not reside in the same body. There is some truth in that statement but wisdom does not automatically come with age. Instead, it depends on your ability to bring into play the experiences from all that life has handed us.
I speak from experience. As a young girl, growing up on a farm in the South, I wanted nothing more than to leave that farm when I became 18, an adult, and head to New York City. I knew what was best for me – or so I thought- and more education was not it! It took about four years of struggling to survive in the “big city”, working menial jobs and living from hand-to-mouth before I realized that an education was the key to a better life. For me, it took the experience of struggling to survive in the “big city” with no salable skills that caused me to wise up. My life is full of experiences that have helped me to become wiser and it has not ended yet.
An examination of your experiences on the journey of life will certainly pinpoint some situations where you did not make wise decisions. What did you learn from that experience? There is the tendency to classify things as “failures” when it can be a warning to do something different. A failure is that only if you learn nothing from the experience. So wise up.

A couple of months ago, I experienced the death of an older brother with whom I was very close. After his death, I spent time assisting his wife with the myriad of things that must be dealt with following the death of a spouse. He had a will which made settling his estate a bit easier. Even with that, there were things which we both wished he had done more thoroughly.
As I reflected on my brother’s life I reminisced about his many good qualities – though he had a few undesirable ones as well – and what a wise person he was. During conversations he would often blurt out some saying or words of wisdom which seemed appropriate to the conversation. A few weeks after his death I read an article titled: Two Kinds of Legacy. As I read it I wished my brother had done what this article suggested.
The article talked about a person leaving a will, called a legacy, to distribute assets. But, as the article points out, legacy has a deeper meaning. In addition to the will to distribute assets, it recommended people leave an ethical will which passes on wisdom and good wishes to future generations. This can be a letter or some other document that conveys the person’s values, convictions, advice and hopes for future generations. This written document reflects the person’s experience during the journey through life.
What would you put in your ethical will? Writing such a document can have an impact on your own life, causing you to examine your life and adjust your own priorities. It could change your prospective. Because this document is about ethics, it can become a moral compass that helps loved ones navigate their way to worthy and happy lives. Give it a try. Once you start writing down all your thoughts, it may be hard to stop.

This is an article from Healthy Companies International

Heavy-Handed Bosses

1. Intimidating Bosses use fear as the primary means to motivate others. They abuse authority and are usually driven by both the need to feel powerful and the need to protect themselves from feelings of insecurity.

2. Egotistical Bosses crave attention and act to maintain their self-image as the stars of the show. Certain that they deserve special treatment, they are driven primarily by two needs: to be admired and to protect themselves from their sense of inadequacy.

3. Workaholic Bosses believe that work trumps everything else in life, for them and everyone else. They work long hours, expect others to do the same, and typically are driven either by the need to be successful or the need to avoid something in their personal lives—or both.

4. Micromanaging Bosses are constantly and deeply involved in every aspect and detail of their people’s work. They dictate how work gets done and are driven primarily by the need for control.

Lightweight Bosses

5. Disorganized Bosses tend to take on more than they can handle, lose track of things, and accomplish less than they set out to do. They are often driven by fears of commitment, being controlled, or having too much structure—coupled with a general insecurity about their capabilities.

6. Passive Bosses are indecisive, reluctant to stand up for an idea or course of action, and easily derailed by challenges to their plans. They are driven most frequently by the fears of confrontation and failure, along with the seemingly contradictory fear of exerting their own power.

7. Unqualified Bosses are either unprepared or unsuited for their current positions. They may be driven by fears of inadequacy, failure, or embarrassment—or by unfounded confidence.

Unpredictable Bosses

8. Emotional Bosses are continually in the grip of anger, depression, and/or anxiety. Their emotions stem from their need to gain control over one or more fears (e.g., fear of failure, job loss, family disruptions, health problems), combined with their underdeveloped ability to do so objectively and unemotionally.

9. Manipulative Bosses use people for their own gain, with little or no regard for the consequences to others. They are usually driven by the need to be successful, in conjunction with an overriding mistrust of themselves and others.

10. Evasive Bosses do whatever it takes to remain as uninvolved and non-responsible as possible in decisions, plans, and activities. They are driven by an exaggerated fear of failure and discomfort with human relationships.

Do you fit any of these? If you are, you may want to examine your style in order to make your company a place where employees enjoy coming to work.

We all have our bad days. It could be because of something that happened or did not happen. Or, we may just wake up in a bad mood.  Sometimes there are situations when things are just not going well.  I admit it is easy to begin feeling sorry for yourself and wanting others to share that feeling. In life we have to play the hand we are dealt but find ways to make the best play. Whining and fretting does not help the situation.  We may be inclined to wallow in pity and decide to throw a pity party to which we invite any and everyone.  Well, forget it!  You may find that you are the only one attending your pity party.  Feeling sorry for yourself accomplishes nothing and people don’t enjoy being around someone who is crying the blues.

            When you are feeling sorry for yourself remember the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Many people perceive getting older as a negative. I feel just the opposite. I am thankful for each day that I am able to start my day in good mental and physical health.  I don’t take it for granted.

Growing older has given me the opportunity of having many varied experiences. With these experiences have come maturity and wisdom. A former pastor once said “Youth and wisdom don’t reside in the same body”. There is some truth to that because wisdom is acquired as a result if some level of longevity. However longevity does not necessarily assure the acquisition wisdom.

With age has come a greater level of confidence. I am no longer as concerned about what people think about what I do, my beliefs or actions. My years have given me a level of intelligence that would dictate that I consider the consequences of my actions. I therefore would do nothing to damage my character or reputation. But I don’t need the type of permission or approval that I felt was needed at a younger age. I feel liberated to do things that I may have previously wanted to do but could not because of lack of time or resources or was concerned about “what people would say”. It could be a new hobby, skill or just something challenging. I find it easier to say no to things in which I don’t want to be involved or in which I have no interest. I have learned to spend more time taking care of me. I often have what I call “be good to myself days”.

I enjoyed my younger days but I am enjoying my older days just as much if not more.